Thanksgiving Love!!

Here are some fantastically hilarious (OK maybe not that great) Turkey Day jokes:

I started by trying to come up with my own jokes and the best I got was:

what is the magical key you need on Thanksgiving day? a TUR-key!!!

Unfortunately after I googled Thanksgiving jokes I realized that my oh so creative joke isn’t all that creative and there were several similar jokes like that listed. However, I did enjoy some of the jokes that are posted below! Get ready for Turkey day will ya?! Bring out your stretchy pants and start warming up!!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one fresh enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, "Don't you have fresh turkeys?" The stock boy answered, "But they are all dead. Now how can I make them take a bath?"

What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey.

And even better, here is my much acclaimed and much anticipated "Ode to the Berry of Turkey Day":

Ode to the Berry of Turkey Day: aka I'm in Love with Cranberries

Cranberry, Cranberry,
Oh how you are my favorite berry,
You make my life so merry,
and get me to miss my dad Jerry
who is not hairy
nor is a berry
but who taught me how to make sauce
out of you, 'cus he is a cranberry boss!

How you pop and sizzle in the pan
I must admit I even like you from the can
but made fresh is hard to beat:
whole berries with orange rind, what a treat!

I eat you with my turkey,
(I like you much more than that bird--hehe!!)
I keep you very near to me
I've never picked you from your tree
but I could since you are free!
You are wonderful: you help me pee
You also make me strong, as mighty as a bee,
you are definitely a miracle berry, oh gee!!

Your succulent taste
that I never want to waste
I dare not eat you in a haste
I wish I could make you into a paste
or use you for my turkey as a baste,
so healthy, you shrink my waist,
so pure, so chaste.

So as you can see: I'm in love.
It's true, it's real, it's pure as a dove.
I wish I could eat you all year round,
If I did, I would not gain a pound.
I'd be so happy, I'd never send an animal to the pound.
I may start collecting you and form a GINORMOUS mound!!!

Thank you for all you are to me,
so dear,
so beautiful,
so alluring,
my beloved Cranberry. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!